Libidinal Energy – How to Use Sexual Energy for Creativity and Spiritual Growth

Libidinal Energy – How to Use Sexual Energy for Creativity and Spiritual Growth


hi this is emerald and welcome to the
diamond net and today I’m going to be talking about libidinal energy and how to
use it for personal and spiritual growth all right so before we get into the
video I want to give you a quick definition of what labidinal energy is
basically to put it very simply libido energy is creative energy it’s that
feeling that we feel when we’re engaged with something completely new to us or
we’re really feeling that sense of passion toward a particular person or a
new undertaking of sorts and this energy has had many different names throughout
many different cultures so we have prana we have Chi
we have lifeforce energy Shakti Kundalini and there’s plenty others as
well all right so the main takeaway here is that libidinal energy is erotic
now when I say erotic immediately what pops to mind is probably sex and
sexuality and you’re absolutely right sex and sexuality are erotic things but
erotic in a more general sense means life-giving in fact sex is considered an
erotic thing because it is the process that creates life that said sex and
sexuality are not the only erotic things anything that’s erotic is basically
life-giving in the sense that it makes you feel alive so it could be something
like a creative endeavor or even transcendence itself now the reason why
I’m making this video actually is because I recently had what I would call
an opening experience where essentially I had libidinal energy that had been
blocked and then all of a sudden everything opened up and in this
experience it was almost like there was a barrier in the center of my chest that
just got burst through and then all of a sudden there was just like this pulsing
outward of all of this like energy I guess you’d call it just this sensation
of like pulsing outward and then also there was this cascading energy coming
down my arms and my upper chest as well and this lasted for about three days and
I would have some very interesting symptoms otherwise – like there was also
some pulsing in my abdomen and then when I would wake up on certain days I think
it was like two of the three days maybe one of the three days I’m not sure but I
would feel like my gums were literally crawling so there are definitely some
strange physiological happenings going on with my body but what was more
remarkable was just how very positive I felt it felt like there was just like I
had just come alive in some way like there was something moving in me that
hadn’t been moving in a very long time and I had really been up above the fray
of the normal like things that I would get caught down in so certain
insecurities and hang-ups that I would normally have and I’d be down in the
weeds of all of a sudden it was like I was popped up above those and I could
see things from a new perspective and it was just really clear at the time what
decisions I needed it to be making that I had been putting off making and there
was just a sense that everything was going to be okay as long as I followed
along with what my intuition was telling me and where I was centering when before
I was always centering very much in my head it was like there was more of a
diffuse awareness and a dropping down into the heart space particularly but in
general just being more okay with just being in the body and for those three
days things were just really really clear and then I noticed on around the
third day there was more of a constricting like it literally felt like
the energy was going back up here like in a really tight way and I found
basically my way back to just about how I was before that opening experience so
most of it didn’t get fully integrated like I’m not feeling that way now but
it’s like having seen that contrast I can see how important it is to actually
deal with things on a physiological body level and to actually be able to be in
touch with that labeed null Kundalini energy and to allow it to flow and that
ultimately it was my concentrating back up into the mind and having to really
have my claws dug in there that really kept me from being in touch with what
was going on in my body and what was going on in my heart space and so this
is why I wanted to share this information with you guys because I know
that this is what I need to work on most now because it’s clearly showing me that
it shows me which direction I need to go in and so if that
helps anybody else I’m more than happy to help in that way and hopefully it
does now there’s an analogy that I think works really well for libidinal energy
and if you think about libido energy as being the thing that allows you toward
particular things in life like so for example it’s like you feel an upsurge of
libidinal energy when you have a crush on somebody and you want to be as close
to that person as possible so it magnetizes you to that person or perhaps
you have a passion toward making music or toward painting and you just feel
this magnetism toward that endeavor so that’s what libidinal energy is like it’s
very it’s very directional in a certain sense and so I like to think of it as
like the white rabbit that chases you that you can chase down the rabbit hole
so you see the white rabbit and it’s running and you see it like Alice and
Alice in Wonderland and you just have to follow this white rabbit to see where
it’s going and from there you just end up in this whole totally different place
now there are many different rabbit holes that labidinal energy can chase
you down so for example one it could be chasing you toward a particular
relationship with someone and again there’s that sexual connection there
with the libidinal energy or again it could be chasing you toward a particular
dream that you have or a particular you know look I said creative endeavor like
if you’d always wanted to make clothing or something like that it might be
magnetizing you in that way or again it can be used also to in the rabbit hole
to end all rabbit holes you know to transcend and I can see very clearly
even though it wasn’t any kind of ego transcendence experience that I had
during this experience that my level of awareness or my ability to be aware and
clear was really improved by just that libidinal energy being able to move freely
in my body also another rabbit hole that the white rabbit of alibied ”’l energy
can chase you down is the ability to unearth hidden potentials that you have
not realized yet that still hang out in your shadow little treasures that you
haven’t found yet or things that have been actively repressed down into the
shadow you can also honor those and bring those back into your conscious
awareness and so it’s the ability to really be able to allow that
magnetic pull of that libido energy bring you into certain aspects of
yourself and to give you a passion for actually integrating parts of yourself
that you were before averse to now relative to this rabbit-hole idea I find
one idea very helpful so I often like to use the chakra system as a map of sorts
so it’s not like you know I don’t experience any kind of spinning wheels
going up the the spine I do feel energy moving there but I’ve never actually
experienced like a very viscerally clear orb of like spinning energy there it’s
just general energetic movement up the spine but I like it as a as a map of
meaning so if you think about each chakra and what they relate to as being
a particular rabbit hole that the libido energy could chase you down if you think
about it as being well the root chakra would be like things towards survival
like our very very strong motivation to stay alive and this doesn’t get
activated very often unless we’re in a life-or-death situation but it certainly
comes into play there you know so for example if we’re in this situation it
motivates us to get out and it gives us the energy to get out now sexuality you
know that’s basically where that remains so unless we’re in a life-threatening
situation most of the time that libido energy is going to very easily draw us
to a particular romantic partner and then if we take it a step up we have the
solar plexus chakra which relates to concerns about the self and the identity
and so individuation is a process that can be helped along by the presence of
libido energy and you know if you have a thing where you’re into personal
development this is like usually where that your libidinal energy is going to be
at if you have that motivation to grow yourself and then of course libidinal
energy like myself it can hit you in the area of the heart and this can open you
up to love and your own intuition and following your own emotions and then you
have the throat chakra you know and that can be used to open you up in terms of
expression and so a lot of artists and musicians can be very open in the
throat chakra and you can be very motivated in that way to go toward that
endeavor it can also help open you up to insights and give you more clarity and
then also with the transcendence aspect to the crown chakra where you can
essentially be led down the rabbit hole to end all rabbit holes alright so the
big question here is how do we actually facilitate this opening how do we get
more in touch with our libidinal energy and how do we learn to allow it to do its
thing and then also to follow it along in a way that you can channel it toward
whatever you’d want to channel it toward so I think it’s important to notice that
there’s like a couple of steps here so one big thing is that the mind often
gets in the way of what we allow ourselves to think and what we allow
ourselves to do and so the first two steps I’m gonna go over have to do
specifically with cultivating space in the mind so the first thing is to break
out of rigid thinking and limiting beliefs so oftentimes we get used to
thinking about the world as working a particular way and thinking that oh this
is a possibility for me and this is not a possibility for me and so we end up
with this projection screen over reality where we end up with so many of our
options blocked off where we don’t even realize that we have moves to make and
we just think that we can’t do that we hit a we hit a brick wall
when there’s really open space there so when we have limiting beliefs this gives
us a false sense of powerlessness and a false sense of being trapped it’s kind
of like when they’re trying to train elephants to stay put what they’ll do is
they’ll take a baby elephant and they’ll tie a rope around its leg and it’ll try
to get away but it won’t be strong enough to and then as the elephant grows
it’ll be strong enough to eventually break through the rope but it’ll have
learned helplessness so much and learned its own powerlessness that it won’t even
try to break the rope and so we have a lot of constraints like this and so it’s
important for us to be able to look at that clearly and to be able to pull
apart any limiting beliefs or any of those mental barriers that we have to
things alright the second thing and this is great for just open-mindedness in
general but it’s a going to help you sort of be able to let
go and to allow the libido energy to go where it needs to go so it’s to realize
how little you actually know about this reality and to really embrace your
inherent innocence to the mystery of existence because a lot of times
libidinal energy will stop flowing or be constricted and flow just because you
feel like you have everything here figured out now we as human beings love
certainty and we love to feel like we have things figured out and when we feel
like we don’t have the answers it makes us maybe feel a little bit anxious but
it’s really important to investigate this world and to understand that you
really don’t have anything of reality beyond just your bubble of experience
and so beyond this bubble of experience you don’t know what is and you don’t
know what degree that this is all just an illusion or if it’s real or what you
know there are so many metaphysical existential questions that can knock
over the conception of reality that you currently have right now and basically
make you go okay well actually I don’t know like for example right now I think
I’m in my room and I think that I’m like recording this video but who knows maybe
I’m like locked in a mental institution and I’m like just staring at a white
wall and I’m so crazy that I have no idea that I’m not even I’m not even
recording a video you know and this is a pretty far-fetched idea but it could
very well be the truth you know there could be any number of things that are
possible like for example what if reality is only this bubble of
experience that I have or maybe there’s not even a me experiencing this maybe
there’s just kind of a general awareness and then here’s all the stuff that I see
you know so there’s all kinds of metaphysical questions and existential
questions you can ask yourself that’ll make you realize how much of a blind
spot that you’re actually in relative to knowing anything and it’s not so much
that you’re trying to come to new conclusions about what’s real and what’s
not it’s just to realize how our limitations and through realizing our
limitations we can actually open up a bit more to the mystery of existence
which will in turn allow our Kundalini and the pineal energy
to flow more freely okay so once clarity on the level of the mind has achieved
then you can move to the body so again like I said in my experience it was like
before I always had this attention constricted right up here in the mine
space and then for those few days where I had that opening I was really in my
body and I was really especially in my heart space really centered there and
then when it went back to normal is kind of like I constrict it back up into my
mind space so the thoughts themselves can constrict that and having this soul
focus toward the mind which we all tend to do or most of us tend to do that’s
going to constrict that energy so the more you can drop down into your body
and be aware of what’s going on in your body and all the sensations that are
happening and being aware of it in a way not so much that you’re labeling
anything but just your your experiencing and so it the more you can drop down
into the body and to be aware of what’s going on the better now in terms of
bringing the attention toward the body anything like body scan meditation is
going to be great for that you know so if you take a few minutes out of your
day and you focus toward what’s going on in your chest what’s going on in your
abdomen what your legs feel like and really try to feel every sensation it’ll
give you a much clearer idea of what currents of energy are already flowing
in your body all right my fourth piece of advice and I found this to be very
effective myself is this is just something that I naturally do because
I’m very motivated by connections with other people is to have a muse so often
what I do is I will imagine like if I have some kind of creative endeavor that
I’m undertaking or if I’m making a video or you know anything of that nature that
really requires that Kundalini energy to to come and flow out where it is I
imagine that I am making those things for a person that’s special to me and it
could be somebody who I’m romantically interested in or it could be just
somebody who is a friend of mine or somebody who I find interesting to talk
to and I often end up like creating these scenarios in my mind when I’m like
making what I’m making or when a new insight is coming up where I’m actually
sharing that with that person and so it gives this very directional
kind of thing toward that muse so for example let’s say that I know somebody
is interested in deep thinking and I’m coming up with insights that I want to
share on my channel I’ll imagine that I’m having a discussion about the
insights that I’m getting with that person and in it being directional
there’s much more of a motivation for that to come out and for me to do a good
job with it because there is a sense like I want to give this to that person
and so it’s a way to take a certain level of care and love that you have for
that person and to encourage that Kundalini energy to come forth are in
the fifth and final thing that I recommend is to do various you know
spiritual and yogic practices that focus toward body awareness and actually
moving the energy in the body so we have Kriya yoga Kundalini Yoga
there’s acupuncture there’s Reiki there’s Qi Gong Tai Chi anything that’s
really about moving the energy in the body and being aware of the energy in
the body there’s also a thing called bioenergetics I don’t know a whole lot
about it but I know that it functions off of the same idea so any kind of
practice like that it’s really going to help you get rid of those blocks that
you have to the libido energy coming forth so basically that’s all I have for
you for now I hope that you enjoyed this video if you did go ahead click the like
button below and subscribe also write me a comment down below I love hearing from
you guys also I wanted to mention that over the course of the past couple
months I’ve been taking some life coaching courses so what the one that
I’m in right now actually has to do with working toward certification as a life
coach which I’ve been now dabbling in for about eight months so that’s
something that I’m still offering right now but I’m also offering dreamwork
coaching so basically I taken a course on dream work for coaching which of the
person who puts on the courses will Sharon he’s excellent I highly recommend
it but basically the idea behind dream work with coaching is it’s taking life
coaching where basically the coach is helping to facilitate
exploration and sort of anchoring that back in life by creating certain action
steps to go forward with particular goals that a client might have but with
the dreamwork it’s like the starting point is the dream and working through
that dream to see what messages that the dream is actually trying to convey to
the dreamer and then using that to anchor back in the person’s life so that
they can maybe go in a particular direction and I know that during the
course I did a lot of back-and-forth with a partner that I was assigned with
and I was really amazed actually at how much the process helped me grow and help
me to realize certain things that were being reflected to me and like literally
every dream that I hadn’t thought of before
and so that’s something that I’m offering now if you’re interested in it
and you want to ask more questions what you can do is you can email me at the
diamond net channel at gmail.com I also have a place for you to sign up on
patreon or on on my website the diamond net org and if again if you have any
questions feel free to contact me anyway that’s all I have for now and until next
time keep becoming more you you you

66 comments on “Libidinal Energy – How to Use Sexual Energy for Creativity and Spiritual Growth

  1. Awesome , I just commented in your other video , when will you be posting your next video and here it is . Long gap dear. Hope everything is fine !!!

  2. I need this lecture. Perfect timing miss! 🙂

    "What day is it?"

    "It's today", squeaked Piglet.

    "My favourite day", said Pooh.

  3. Thanks Emerald, erotically I practice abstinence without compromising procreative vulnerability, although my libidinal likes to celebrate Qi!

  4. So are you 💯👀👀👀👀👀👀 in a mental health ""Facility'"🤔. If so 👽👾🏇🏇⛷️🏂🏂🏂🤺🤺🤺

  5. Very helpful. For me, somatic practice & kundalini over many years developed into an intense visual/tactile synesthesia. I feel the physical sensation of others, as well as the world around me very strongly. On the up side, this means if a bird is flying; I experience it from the birds perspective. It leads to development of strong compassion. On the down side; I also experience it if a close family member is sexually aroused in the next room. Over time, I noticed that I unconsciously project my physical sensations onto others as well. I eventually felt no sense of privacy within my own self awareness. This caused me to lock up, as the energy would continue pressing against my anxiety & resistance. For a long time it was hard to find teachers who seemed to relate to what I was saying., but I eventually found a few. Shinzen Young, talks about a bit of my experience here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzHbQk1SQCQ

  6. Wow! I've been following you for years. Just recently I've been delving into my own sexuality and learning spiritual practices and traditions that deal with sacred sexuality. Then I hop on YouTube and here you are talking about all the new ideas I've been playing around with and opening me up! Synchronicity! Thank you

  7. Im in awe over the simple but intense confidence you have in your words …how can you have such a grasp on what seems so illusive?

  8. Love your clarity. I took a Vipassana 10 day silent retreat recently and do 1 hr meditation 2x daily and find the body scanning is very helpful in my journey of growth. Thanks for all your thoughts

  9. I had this experience, after being on the kundalini path for awhile. It is indescribably powerful, like sexual congress inside the body. For me it was triggered by something personal shared by someone I cared about, which caused an explosion of this energy from my heart. I had this phase for probably a few weeks, which was almost overwhelming for the first few days. The physical idea of sex was far from my mind as it manifested so purely and strongly within me.

  10. I love that the rabbit chases you haha, I know it was not what you meant, but it is a funny image and I laughed a lot. <3

  11. Quite a-musing. I don’t know if it’s the lighting or the new background, but it seemed like your face turned slightly red a few times. 😊

  12. I actually didn't get the whole point that how you activated that current of cascading energy, did you do any pelvic floor muscle contraction?

  13. Thank you so much for all this information, you actually made me understand libidinal energy. Where did you get the metaphor of the White Rabbit from? Was it from a particular thinker? It´s really magnificent

  14. Thankyou for the effort and time you put into your video's, some of the videos you made have helped me understand more of my interpersonal perspective.

  15. I've had that experience, its like literally the whole world is represented in you.. people see a difference in you. Life isnt the same after that.. but I have something to preach.. I'd like to invite you to Islam. I've always been a seeker, psychology mysticism and now I'm a devout muslim, I was born a muslim but I abandoned the religion because I needed to find truth for my self. And after getting to some point in my search I found the only truth is God, and only truth can set you free, peace only comes through truth.. and there can only be one true way and I say its surrender to God.. thats what islam is about.. look into the science of quran, I dont mean scientific facts, I mean how its recited, its poetry, the relevance of it being revealed in the arabic language and how it was revealed. It was physicaly difficult upon the prophet. And the coming of the prophet Mohammed has been prophesied by other prophets.. look into that. And more importantly look into it all with some heart. Salam Alaykum (peace be upon you)

  16. I just experienced this feeling with a longtime female freind who came to visit.We went out riding on the Harley, went hiking in the mountains….it was euphoric.wow...i felt alive…ALIVE!

  17. Thank you for taking the time to make videos for us, this one was definitely useful for understanding some of the things I'm experiencing so I appreciate you taking all the time to make these videos

  18. Perfect timing.
    I just had a HUGE Core Energetics retreat.

    Part of my wounding involves betrayal from my dad. This closed my heart front and back.

    My process involved having my heart flooded with libidinal energy, regressing to feel the betrayal, then expressing the rage.

    Present time integration involved forgiving my father that he did his best.

    In sum: my libido energy was already strong, now it is 10x and so excited to see what I create with your advice.

    Thank you for speaking your truth. ❤️🙏🏽

  19. god damn i'm seeing 123 everywhere, 1,123 views , 123 likes, still can't decipher what the universe is telling me though, glad to see you up emerald it's been awhile 😉

  20. This is a current issue with me in Psychotherapy, so please except my grateful appreciation. I just love you're way of presenting concepts/ideas and really believe you are a unique channel that offers us a glimpse into the source. Either that or I am in the next room at the institution!

  21. why would i want to do that. Catolic church tried to do that for centuries by negating material principle in favor of "spirit" and this ended in pedophily, support for fascism, Franco, Hitler, kidnapping and murder of children and all kinds of worst imaginable perversions .
    But, ok, i understand you didnt mean like that – repressing it, but integrating it.
    Anyway great video.

  22. thank you for explaining the designations for energy in the chakras. my erotic energy is stuck in my root chakra today!!! rechannelling for me🙋

  23. Emerald, do you think the teachings of Tantra can cover all of the topics you listed here, but more efficiently?

  24. I love watching your content, usually when I'm eating.

    I've been trying to make meditation a daily practice but I've been wondering whether I should do a full session of mindfulness (I try to do 30 mins of meditation per day) or whether I should split up the session between mindfulness, body scan, and meditation on the chacras. Thoughts?

  25. I was just reading Psychic Self Defense -Dion Fortune, and by reading passages about sexual energy, i started to understand and distinguish types of energy.
    From my experiences, Sexual energy (kundalini) was a still energy. It wasn't active all the time, and i can hold it up to 4 or 5 minutes. But there was another kind of energy too. Something i feel all the time, nothing like kundalini. It is passively moving around corners of my body. It accumulates in certain areas, especially at hands, fingertips, neck, ears, lips, nipples…

    What i found about sexual energy is, there are two aspects of it. Feminine and masculine energy. And one of them is dominant in every person. What sexual intercourse make is connecting two or more persons energetically then tranforming and balancing their sexual energies.

    We can transform our dominant energy into non dominant energy solely. Let's say Masculine to Feminine. We do this unconsciously by sleeping, or eating particular things or expressing ourselves in a way like art. All of these actions Catalyzes the transformation. And one of the biggest catalyst is opposite sex.

    One who can do transformations of energies without needing something is able to do very powerful energy work. We call them virgins but they don't need to be virgin for mastering this kind of energy studies. It just becames easy to learn.

    And this is a fraction of how Tantric energies work…

  26. I was thinking about you today, and wondered why I hadn't heard anything from The Diamond Net. It was good to hear you sharing again, peace, out.

  27. Is there any research or at least hypotheses that link frequent masturbation with low libidinal energy as you describe it?

  28. I've had that experience on psilocybin. Especially that sense of innocence, the dive into the experience of my reality. During those few hours I got down into the experience of being in a body and in a life, trusting the environment to take care of itself while I'm immersed. I always wondered what that experience was about, but after almost a year of integration I have began to realise that the trust in people, the dive into total immersion in life and out of the mind veil is where I need to strive to go. This life will only work if I jump into it and have faith that everything will sort itself out wether I'm there or not or wether I'm thinking about it or not.

    It's a tough concept to explain but it's been helping me and I've come a few steps on the path already 😊

  29. Your calm approach to this fascinating topic is exciting as what is being talked about here is truly intense, activating and human; something we all experience on some level and arouses everyone in an intimate and personal way. I love how you hint at barriers, what you felt, and what you did personally with that focus instead of physically releasing it…that lasts only a moment, what you are talking about is extended and lasting, an energy, a readiness, a feeling that lingers and makes you get up and move, growl, work, think, make and embrace. Adding to the conversation might be something you share in time: Libidinal energy or sex transmutation is part of the experience as is the personal intent of restraint with your energy, the choice of boundaries, the time you wish to withhold release and stay in detachment; you live in the mind and formally decline any physical release. As things stir up in you an ability to comfortably move that energy is gained over time, allowing it to activate you and then understanding you've made a choice to serve it differently…harness the thick wave of lust, arousal, passion, and desire. Orgasmic meditation, temperance, chastity, heavenly bridegrooms, mormon soaking, karezza, moola bandha work…root chalkra, pc muscles; continence, sex fire, self-control, surrendering, pleasure as a shadow of joy, how flesh rules you or doesn't, the voluntary attitude of giving in, etc…soooo much here that I've studied as well…felt deeply…yet, transcendence? Can you remove yourself and work through this insanely deep part of the human experience and live life? Can that be sustained? If all thought is focused everyday, maybe…no stimulation, no thoughts that stray from the sensual world…only focused breath, clear mind, detached…? Hmmmm, maybe there's other methods, other ways to bring all of this together…an action plan that can be created that respects self-control work, feels the human needs we have, focuses it, uses it to move forward, grow, learn deeply in an aroused extended state, and then in an earned transformative moment with your work and practice, allowing yourself and/or another pleasure…an arousal conviction…release…the physical not being isolated from spiritual…we're both present and bonding. Thanks for all your time, thought, insight and video work. Look forward to more.

  30. Just wanted to thank you for the content. Watching your videos lately has helped me better reassess what transpired with me last yr. & you have been a great source of knowledge & understanding for me, thank you very much for that.
    Keep making the world better…
    Because in the end..all we have, is love, & TRUTH.

  31. I'm here from your comment on Teal Swan video. I'm glad I came. Great content and keep up the good work!

  32. What an enjoyable video. Its interesting to view pain and the body as a mind object. Its interesting to meditate on the spine in regards to libidinal energy. Thanks for the upload

  33. Hey Emerald, Megan here. Would you say your three-day awakening was proceeded by the various different practices mentioned in the video, as in you have a personal practice of meditation, body scanning, etc., that you have been a practitioner of for many months/years and this is what lead to your three-day experience? Or do you feel it was something in particular that initiated it?

  34. Ohhhh my God. Hello Madam, I found you on a post on Leo forum. You explained all seduction for men in like a 15 lines text lol. Will explore your channel since it must be as the same quality as the post. !

  35. I had something similar when i was 23 . I was living alone and sublimating energy into painting and mediation for about 6 months.. then one night while painting something just exploded in the heart region and i had all these tears flooding out.. bot of sorrow but gratitude or something. For a while afterwards i was repelled by words and concepts.. i was just enjoying this freshness and newness that was incredibly blissful

    Over the next few years all kinds of things revealed themselves one after another. Something energetic got started and it kept going until the most profound ultimate breakthroughs. i just has its own way. For example, once while meditating i heard a voice within say "are you ready ro let go of everything" and something opened to pure consciousness that seemed completely beyond. It was hard afterwards to reconcile this pure beingness with the becoming process what's the point if it all ends up in a place where nothing ever happened haha. But then after more practice i had a revelation of the immanent divine.. that there isn't two.. not spirit and matter.. not being and becoming. They both appear in an all inclusive context.. in a kind of wide angle view that clearly revealed the one in the many. Then after a year of constant mediation contemplation and while on retreat, the whole idea of a separate self and separate doer dissolved.. along with the seeking process that had been such an intense focus. It was clear that i already am what I'm seeking and the very seeking was all that obscured this truth.. ao absurd and silly..

    Then four years after that all this primal existential terror of non existence came up.. i became aware of a subtle resistance to the wide expanse of infinity.. the terror of it.. this resistance finally collapsed and a kind of death occurred.. hard to describe, but it was like going through death. The whole universe of perception and senses disappeared into the void and from there to the recognition of the formless deathless Self prior to all. Then when everything reappeared all sense of division or distance had gone.. like being reborn or something

    This wss all over a ten year period from that initial opening. It wasn't really the end, lots of subtle changes have happened since Such as love getting purified of attachment. I was still tending to attach love to particular relationships. Then at a particular point i wasn't. Therfore it became more available to whatever ot whoever. It wasn't seen as something external so the need wasn't there. Other stuff has come up too on a human level too. Seems there's no real end, but there is definitely a lot more peace, happiness and a very silent trouble free mind. I'm not perfect in the least, but I'm ok with that. I try and approach everything like a beginner.

  36. I love the part about the elephant. This is a good analogy for all of us. Where did we learn our own helplessness and our own powerlessness, that we won't even try to break free? This whole video is filled with great tips about letting go to grow. Very special. Thanks!

  37. This is a very true thing. What's interesting is that the libido manifests itself different in men and women (in the aggregate). For instance men crave female attention but females crave male attention. And so this means that men tend to use their libidinal energy to accumulate wealth and resource, whereas women use their libidinal energy in more cosmetic and social ways. This is why the #1 spenders in society are women and the #1 accumulators of wealth are men (which is why most of our country's tax revenue "comes" from men and most retail revenue "comes" from women). Libidinal energy is SOOOO underrated and needs to be more talked about in my opinion.

  38. I love your videos.
    Can you please also make a video about the Antilibidinal Ego?
    Depressesion-paranoid-schizoid is linked to the inner child. I am not paranoid or schizoid or depressed.
    Yet, I do have Antilibidinal Ego sometimes. For example, I think that computers are good. But I also think they are bad because of hackers. It is difficult to have a whole ego. And I see computers as part of me because of my work.

    The Whole Ego relating to the Good Object, is the healthy inner child relating to the patient and nurturing inner parent. This is the part of the inner world that object relations therapists try to expand and grow.

    The Antilibidinal Ego relating to the Bad Object, is the depressed, angry or hopeless inner child relating to the rejecting or neglectful inner parent. Whenever someone speaks in a tantrum-like way they are speaking from the Antilibidinal Ego, and they are speaking to the Bad Object. Whenever someone is overly critical and harshly judgmental they are speaking from the Bad Object part of their personality, and are speaking to the Antilibidinal Ego (hopeless inner child).

    The Libidinal Ego relating to the Exciting Object is the gullible and overly hopeful inner child about the exciting over-promising inner parent. Whenever a person goes back to their cheating or abusive spouse, they are operating from their Libidinal Ego and relating to the Exciting Object in their inner worlds. Whenever they are in an addiction, they are treating whatever they are addicted to as if it were an Exciting Object.

  39. I'm wanting to become a life coach myself and I was wondering what suggestions you might be able to give. I have no formal education or degree in this field and I wonder what would benefit me the most. I had my own release of energy similar to the experience you share in this video and I have been compelled to understand and share my experience with others to possible help lead others to self discovery.

  40. I stopped jerking off a few months ago when I decided to embrace complete celibacy, which was an especially difficult decision since I am a virgin (or perhaps easier), and I think this is also tied with dopamine, so I cut sugar from my diet also. Oddly enough my creativity (I write a lot) went to complete shit. So, this video was so helpful and truly remarkable that you could explain all of this so clearly. I never really knew how it all came together but I'm going to test out a lot of the information in this video and see if it works. I am determined to regain my creativity. your videos are so awesome!!!!

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